[China Glass Network] Convince others to look at things in their own way, is the homework you do every day. For example, you often try to get your boss to accept your suggestion, or to promote your advice to more people at a planning meeting; or, you let the taxi driver be willing to "wait a minute" and wait for you to get into the house. thing.
Persuasion is the ability that almost all women want to have. Realizing this, we finally understand why we can live together with our loved ones because we love each other. Because we often negotiate and divide labor; why do we bother to bargain in the market and talk back and forth with the merchants? "It is also the nature of our women who love to bargain."
However, the irony is that when bargaining becomes a job, we are told that when women face the need to “seduce othersâ€, they are more likely to be shy than men and 250% more shy.
AliceEe, 36, is the head of sales and marketing at Orchard Hotel and has been in the mall for more than a decade. Letting others say "Yes" to the products they introduce is a task she faces every day. Despite all the battles, she still realized: "No matter how experienced you are in communication, the situation of each communication is different, and each time there will be different anxiety."
Experts say that women are more worried about the situation: giving people a bad impression - they don't like people to look rude. There is a sense of insecurity in the nature of women. When human beings are still in their childhood in a cave, women are not the same as men. Going out to find food every day, and dealing with all kinds of contradictions and disputes, this is a must-have job for men since the age of generation. Disputes and contradictions are dangerous for women.
In the book "Women Don't Ask" by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, they show through argument that women tend to regard tug-of-war negotiations as unpleasant contact with dentists, while men tend to It is seen as a wrestling match that is likely to win. In this way, a problem becomes unresolved: no matter how well you explain it, if you are ashamed to say the purpose of the conversation, everything will be vain; how can it be justified to let others say "Yes"?
â— Give yourself a reason
A woman who is caring for others is a woman of better status. Therefore, bring this protective instinct to work. Tell yourself that you are working for your team and colleagues, fighting for raising children and supporting parents.
Sometimes, because we are so eager to end the "battle" quickly and thus stay safe with our competitors, we can easily "satisfy" the needs of others - simply communicate and give up the purpose of persuasion.
In fact, we should be prepared for full thinking and strategic tactics beforehand. In this regard, some traditional concepts are not good for promoting communication, that is: the insiders often ask for trouble. But in terms of communicating with others, please remember: knowing yourself and knowing each other. Discussing the discussion behind it when necessary, this is the reason for standing up.
â—Defining the "target" of desire
Experts say that when our goals are clarified, our minds will find ways to achieve and achieve them. For example, in order to get a more generous salary, what you really should pursue is the company's recognition of your work through different forms. If you realize that this is your true motivation for achievement, you can apply for a higher position from the company, and of course you have to commit to more responsibility.
In addition, we should always be aware of our own requirements. If you are unsure and trusting about your own business, how do you trust others? So, when you are trying to convince your customers that his efforts will be worth the money, give yourself a boost. At the same time, check the relevant information, and understand and try out related products, really understand why it is worth fighting for, and sometimes even compete with colleagues.
â— Knowing yourself and knowing each other is "seven inches"
It is necessary to know as much as possible about the subject of the conversation and give the client a professional and experienced impression, rather than a simple mind and a question. Therefore, if you are applying for a new position, you should understand the income of others in the same position before interviewing the employer, and prepare some information to prove to the employer that you have the ability and courage to achieve the goal.
At the same time, understand the competition. In the face of communication with the target, you should try to understand each other's situation, such as preferences, strengths, needs and so on. If you want an image-conscious bank to sponsor an annual marathon, you should position and package the event into a highly socially-recognized event that matches the image of the event and the bank.
â— Don't forget the "bottom line"
Clarify your "bottom line." If you haven't set a clear bottom line before you communicate with the employer, then when you encounter ambiguity, you may miss the opportunity because you are hesitant. Therefore, please bravely say, for example, "Teach the company a training fee for the sales staff, if it is less than 8,000 yuan, it will not work."
Experts suggest that women must figure out before they bargain with the boss. The result is not to do or not to do the job, but how much treatment for me to do the job. People like you, what is missing is not a job opportunity, your choice is not small. Be prepared to say "no". Experts remind that people sometimes use people's survival instinct, and in turn put pressure on each other, so that the other party can succumb to their wishes.
As a later hand, you can pass such information to the other party, and you can still get what you want without their help. But remember to convey this information in a calm tone, otherwise you will feel offended.
â—Play "Spiritual Tai Chi"
Sometimes, clever rebuttals can effectively promote communication. Of course, when expressing negative opinions, you still have to smile, and your tone is firm but not high-profile. Sometimes, the provocative words of sweet talk can also receive the same effect, you can euphemistically convey a little bit of meaning in a gentle way. This is reminiscent of a traditional sports tai chi – it looks very soft, but it can restrain strong opponents with less aggressiveness.
Experts say: "Whether it is a man or a woman, it is generally believed that men are more aggressive than women. But when women show aggressiveness, people's reflections are more embarrassing than men's. This is really unfair. Moreover, even if people feel that a woman is in a weak position, it does not seem to "compromise" her. In order to win the other party’s optimism, we should try to adjust what we often say “I want to...†to “How can we achieve this...†By putting “I†into “weâ€, psychologically put you and your opponent In the same "war", they also conveyed to them a good will to seek a win-win situation.
â—The "installation" has to be "installed"
Think of a friend as an object to be seen, practice, or practice in the mirror yourself. Doing so will allow you to be more relaxed and comfortable when you sit at the negotiating table. It’s a good idea to find a friend beforehand and ask him to help you with your total time. Because she is the subject of your practice, I can put myself in the face of thinking and grasping some key issues, and telling you what you can't consider from your perspective.
The expert said: "Concisely tell the friend what role to play, let him play as much as possible in that role. After that, let him pick the problem you just practiced. Ask him if you have been confident in your performance, is it reasonable, your Whether the conversation is enjoyable." Even if you practice in front of the mirror or practice with friends, it feels a little stupid, but believe that after such "silly", you will grasp the ability to grasp "real combat" and increase self-confidence. So don't hesitate.
â— Seeking expert advice
To "expect" to the experts as an anonymous party, you must dare to stand up in front of everyone and admit that you have problems in communicating with others. In reality, there is nothing abnormal about finding an expert to diagnose and treat your communication style and problems.
Experts say: "If you feel that you are passive at work, or that others have expressed maliciousness to your actions, then now is the time for you to find out why. Maybe you have done a good job, but you feel that there is no promotion. Space. If this is the case, then you are better off looking for opportunities to continue education, and to reinforce your stamina. "After all, if you face a great opportunity in front of you and you do nothing, then how can someone else keep good things?"
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